Jumping Off the Bandwagon of Societal Pressure

I used to find myself jumping on bandwagons.

What I mean by that is that I didn’t have the confidence to be assertive about how I felt or what I wanted.

It all stemmed from not truly knowing myself and feeling like it was easier to go along with the crowd than to figure out what I actually wanted.

I soon discovered that what’s easiest isn’t always good.

When we claim permanent seats on the bandwagon, we often end up looking to others for feedback and validation. We don’t feel secure enough to be firm in our convictions in the face of opposition (or most of the time, really).

Instead, we find ourselves doing things that aren’t aligned with who we really are (even if we’re not totally sure who that is). A classic symptom of this behavior includes saying “yes,” and then feeling a pit in our stomach afterward.

We may not be sure of exactly which direction we want to take, but what we do know is that we need to get off the bandwagon in order to get there.

Taking the Wheel

Riding along with everyone else is often symbolic of an unaddressed need.

So many of us are seeking. What exactly we’re seeking is often intangible, making it difficult to determine exactly what it is we need to do to bridge the gap between who and where we are, and who and where we aspire to be.

The bandwagon is a noisy, chaotic place. When we just go along for the ride, we’re inundated by outside information and feedback, making it challenging to gain clarity of any kind.

The bandwagon is designed to be a ride-along trip, not a solo navigation.

When we have two hands on the wheel of fate, though, that’s when we can direct our circle of influence.

We inherit our values and beliefs from the people around us. Therefore, we need to ask ourselves the following questions:

Are the people who influence us most looking out for our best interests?

What do we really value and believe in as individuals, once we leave the influence of the bandwagon behind?

Riding the bandwagon is rarely mutually beneficial. We’re not supposed to outsource our values; they should come from within ourselves.

Our most important relationships should always be mutually beneficial. There’s a give-and-take dynamic. Where the bandwagon is a place of accumulation and strain, our ideal inner circle should be one of stress-free abundance.

Falling off the bandwagon isn’t always a bad thing.

When we jump off the bandwagon, we can begin filtering out the noise and working to gain clarity on our own needs and purpose.

Until we recognize the significance of being in line with our core (who we are) and knowing our purpose, we will continue to look to others to define us and we will continue to jump on every bandwagon that comes our way.

Here are some powerful practices to help you find your own lane and come into alignment with yourself:

1. Be mindful of where you’re putting your attention. Who are you listening to? What are you reading? Pay attention to who or what is guiding your decisions. If it isn’t you, it’s time to jump ship.

2. Find your character strengths. As I mentioned in my blog post “Overcoming the Strain of Small Talk,” you can go to viacharacter.org to determine your strengths, which is a great starting point for figuring out your values.

3. Detail your ideal life. Here are a couple of questions you can use to help you define it:
   

   • Look into the future. Imagine you are living your ideal life. What does it look like?

   • What is getting in the way of reaching that point?

   • What are you willing to do to move closer toward your goal?

   • Who is going to support this vision?

   • What do you have the ability to change?
     

4. Create a personal mission statement. My mission is to bring positive change to the world by fully immersing myself in authentic expression and communicating deeply and openly with others, encouraging them to do the same.
   
   Viktor Frankl said, “Everyone has [her] own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein [she] cannot be replaced, nor can [her] life be repeated, thus, everyone’s task is unique as [her] specific opportunity to implement it.”

   Creating a personal mission statement can help you define your unique mission. It’s a big job—give yourself some time to figure it out! You can tweak it as you get clearer and clearer on your purpose. Just remember: your mission has never been to ride the bandwagon. Any mission is better than none.

Knowing your character strengths and mission statement will give you a better idea of whether your choices are in line with who you are and what you really want.

Let them be your guiding light.

Do you really want to be in a position where you’re “falling for anything” or just riding along with the crowd?

Only by standing by our convictions, being open to change, and carving our own unique lane will we be able to embody all that we are intended to be and do.